Matt

I developed depression and anxiety at a young age, and lived with the condition for most of my life before being diagnosed and treated just a few years ago. It was startling to see myself clearly for the first time, free from the disease. Only at that point did I have the emotional distance that allowed me to to be in position to address this subject artistically. I knew at that point that I felt an uncontrollable drive and compulsion to make the work.

“Falling” was an unusual project me for in that it was told from a very personal, intimate perspective unlike my previous projects, which approached the subject matter with an emotional distance. Depression is something that happens privately, behind closed doors; it’s a secret that most people keep hidden and never talk about in public. Unfortunately here’s still a social stigma associated with depression that causes people with depression to conceal their true emotions from others. On a broader level, I’m looking to open a dialogue about a topic that is rarely discussed openly by exposing my own personal experience.

“Falling” is a visualization of personal experience with depression and anxiety. The condition brought on frequent episodes where I felt emotionally and physically out of control. Unable to “release” myself from these episodes, I waited for the physical limitations of my body to end them. Recounting the affected years, I realize how accustomed I became to depression’s influence; many emotions and feelings belonged to it and not my own personality. After an extended, untreated struggle, a diagnosis brought relief, and the process of unearthing myself from the disease began.