The Daily Show
Samantha Bee: What will the body be like in the future?
Ray Kurzweil: Well the holy grail is nanobots. Blood cell sized devices that can enhance our health from the inside.
Samantha: So we'll have miniature robots in our bodies
Ray: That's exactly right.
Samantha: We're gonna become perfect.
Ray: Well how would you define perfection?
Samantha: The ability to blow shit up with your eyes.
Siri, where do you come from?
Ira Glass: Siri, where do you come from?
Siri: I, Siri, was designed by Apple in California.
Ira: Where were you manufactured?
Siri: I'm not allowed to say.
Siri: Good question. Anything else I can do for you?
She never invited me to her father’s funeral because she didn’t...– Obscure Chess Buddy, One Sentence
When I was little, my aunt sent a clown with a balloon bouquet to my hospital...– Silent Red, One Sentence
I told you everything and we cried together on my bedroom floor but the next...– A, One Sentence
I went to my appointment expecting to find out if it was a boy or girl, but...– Joaniede, One Sentence
The cancer radiation nurse didn’t think it was funny when I asked her...– Matt, One Sentence
What happens when you reverse Google image search a transparent PNG, then the first image from the results, again and again.