The service industry and I have had a rocky relationship. Because of my unique...– Chelsea Handler
You know what the great thing about rejection is? [It’s] that it...– Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Lately Hillary from Lady Antebellum didn’t make it past the first round of American Idol twice. They’ve gone on to play on the show.
Have you taken Adderall? … It’s really good if you like to like party...– Natasha Leggero, Chelsea Lately
chiblogger: chiblogger: GUYS HELP SOMETHING HAS BEEN TAPPING ON MY WINDOW FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES I’M SCARED TO GO LOOK oh my gOD
theblackship: life becomes a little bit more beautiful once you realize that there is two people sharing a bowl of salsa in the logo i was more excited when i found the arrow in fed ex no, how about when I realized that the arrow in amazon was pointing from a to z (saying that they sell anything from a to z) i like the google logo because it is colorful
*Pollen accidentally enters body*
Immune system: What the hell is that?
Pollen: Oh hey. Sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl-
Immune system: OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK
Pollen: What?!? No! We just got lo-
Immune system: OPEN THE FLOODGATES
Pollen: The what?
Mucus membranes: Sir. All the floodgates?
Immune system: ALL OF THEM.
Pollen: Wait. Wait. You don't... Oh shi-
The moment that you’re in resus, and you’re really sick, and all you...– 24 Hours In A&E
sassygayherondales: stylishirish: horain: stylishirish: this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil. it was a mechanical pencil ...
drarna: emojis are so cute and i love that brown haired girl in pink dress emoji and brown haired boy in blue shirt emoji are together but even brown haired boy in blue shirt emoji has his secrets…
egg-rolls: i just remembered something i did when i was 13 now my day is ruined
bombliate: official-honeybooboo: bombliate: dave-vriska: bombliate: [JUDGE VOICE] did u do the thing [DEFENDANT VOICE] no [JUDGE VOICE] i don’t believe u [WITNESS VOICE] he did the thing [JUDGE VOICE] ooooooh i knew it
snapchatting: *points at ur attention* give me that
hipsterinatardis: Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
buttsandbooks: time to do french homework!!!!1!
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
I crushed up some sleeping pills, put ‘em in your juice.– Kate being romantic, Lost.
nahlou: there are hannah montana lyrics for whatever life throws at you